


Insidious

by pippinmctaggart



Category: Lord of the Rings RPF
Genre: Angst, Best Friends, Depression, Dialogue-Only, Drug Use, Hope, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-05-02
Updated: 2005-05-02
Packaged: 2018-03-31 06:37:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,164
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3968167
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pippinmctaggart/pseuds/pippinmctaggart





	Insidious

"Bill, what makes you think I haven't tried already?"

"Well, you're still shut up in here, aren't ye?"

"Doesn't mean I didn't try. Just means I didn't fucking succeed."

"Ye didn't really want tae succeed, though, did ye Dom?"

"Shut up, Bill."

"Ye don't want tae keep hiding, or ye wouldn't have let me in."

"Shut the fuck up!"

"Don't tell me tae shut up, ye know it's true, ye knew once I got here I wouldn't sodding budge. Ye were counting on it. So quit with the dramatics."

"Dramatics are all I do!"

"That's not true."

"Isn't it?"

"No. Dom, give me your stash."

"My _what_?"

"Don't do that. Ye know perfectly well what. The drugs you've been taking, whatever they are. Grass, booze, uppers, downers, whatever the fuck you've been trying tae lose yourself in. Give it me."

"No."

"Yes."

"Fucking let me go, Boyd! What the fuck is this, a bloody intervention?"

"Don't be a shite, Dom. Ye might as well face facts--I'm stronger than ye, and I can pin ye tae the floor all day without breakin' a sweat. What are ye takin'?"

"Nothing--"

"Don't fucking lie tae me, Monaghan! Ye can lie tae anyone else ye like, but don't ye lie tae _me_!"

"Ow! I’m sorry, okay? Let up, Bill, that hurts."

"What are ye takin', Dom?"

"Pot. Vodka. Sleeping pills."

"Is that all?"

"Yes, Bill, now get off."

"Ye swear? Swear tae me, Dom, because if I find out you're lying tae me, I'll break your fucking head."

"I swear! Now get the fuck off me, Boyd!"

"Where are they?"

"What, are you going to dump them down the toilet on me?"

"Don't get smart. And yes, I am, so where are they?"

"I'm not going to fucking tell you just so you can flush them!"

"Why?"

"Because I need them!"

"No, Dom, ye don't. Do ye hear me? Ye _don't need them_. Christ, what am I going tae do with ye?"

"Think you're so smart, don't you, Bill? Think just because you've got a few years on me, you know everything? Well I've got news for you--you _don't_ know everything! In fact, you don't know one goddamned thing, so just fuck off! Go on, get the hell out!"

"Not a chance, Monaghan. Not a chance in hell, so ye can quit fighting me. If I don't know anything, then tell me."

"Bugger off."

"Tell me."

"Fuck off, Boyd!"

"Tell me."

"No."

" _Tell me_."

"God, you're as bad as my own fucking head, always sniping, won't shut the fuck up. Just _leave me alone_!"

"Can't do it, Dom. What's in your head?"

"Shite! Nothing but shite and it just doesn't stop, Billy, it's this constant loop that I can't shut off, and I need the pot to level me out and I need the sleeping pills or I'm awake all night and I need the vodka to fucking _feel_ something, can you understand that? I’m in this pit, Billy, I'm just laying in this pit staring up at the sky with no clue how I got down here or how to get out, and I'm fucking lost, Billy!"

"You're not. You're not lost, Dom. Listen tae me. I'm going tae stay with ye, Dom, and you'll get yourself sorted. All right? Now, where're the drugs?"

"Don't you fucking touch them! Don't you dare lay one fucking finger on them--"

"Dom, listen tae yourself. Would ye just fucking listen tae yourself? This isn't my Dom talking. This isn't the Dom I know and love, and I'm staying here and keeping ye off the bloody pills and doing everything in my power tae help ye until ye _are_ the Dom I know and love--because I sorely miss him."

"Billy--Jesus fucking Christ, Billy--"

"Shh. It's all right, Dom. And ye said ye couldn't feel anything. Shh, wheesht Dom."

"You--you can have the sodding vodka."

"Thank ye. And what about the others?"

"I need the sleeping pills. Need 'em, Bill, or I can't fucking sleep."

"Shh, it's all right. Billy's here, now, and I'll help ye sleep. Can we get rid of the pills, please, Dom?"

"You'll--you'll get me to sleep?"

"I swear it. The voices won't keep ye up."

"I don't fucking hear voices, goddammit!"

"Shh, wheesht, Dom. I didn't mean it like that, I know ye don't hear voices. Just the voice that's your own brain, yeah? I know exactly what you're talking about, Dom. I know how every night it whispers all the dark things ye can keep at bay during the day, I know how fucking insidious your own mind can be, and when it's too quiet, when there's no one else there to fill the silence, it's enough tae drive a body tae try anything tae stop it, isn’t it, Dom? Shh, now. It's all right. I'll help ye fill the silence for a while."

"And what the fuck am I supposed to do when you leave?"

"Ach, now, I won't be leaving until ye know exactly what tae do when I'm gone. We're getting ye out of that pit, mate. You'll have tae climb out on your own, but I'll be there tae give ye a hand up."

"You've got to fucking help me, Bill."

"Wheesht now. I will. That's what I'm here for. Where are they, Dom?"

"Pills--in the bathroom. Pot and vodka's in the stereo cabinet."

"Thank ye, Dom. Thank ye for telling me that. Ye see? Ye can do this."

"Can't."

"Yes, ye can. It willnae be easy, but you're a stubborn bugger, Dom. Ye just have tae make up your mind this is what ye need tae do, and then there won't be any stopping ye. And I'm here until that happens."

"What if it--"

"As long as it takes. I'll cancel anything I have tae, Dom, nothing's more important tae me than my best mate. Oh, go on with ye--shh, wheesht, Dom. It's all right. You're tired, aren't ye?"

"So fucking tired, Bill. You've got to help me."

"I will, in any way I can. C'mon, I'm fucking jetlagged, and wrestling ye tae the floor has done me in. Let's go take a nap, yeah?"

"No, I can't, I can't fucking close my eyes--"

"Yes, ye can. I told ye, I'll help ye get tae sleep, Dom. I'll make sure ye sleep."

"Promise me, Billy. Promise you'll still be here tomorrow. Can't--don't know what the fuck I'm doing--"

"Wheesht, man. Enough. You'll figure it out, and I'm not fucking budging while ye do. Up with ye, now."

"Don't know what I'd do without you, Bills--"

"Luckily, ye don't have tae find out, because you're _not_ without me. And ye never will be, not while I'm still breathing."

"I'm fucking lost, Bill."

"I know, Dom. I know. C'mon. Let's take that nap, and then we'll start looking for roadsigns, yeah?"

"Yeah. Okay, Bill. I'm tired. So fucking tired."

"I know, Dom. I know."


End file.
